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From Kaizer Shief to Kaizer Thief: the story of Naturena

09 December 2018 - 00:00 By BARENG BATHO-KORTJAAS

If the army of Amakhosi faithful found the appointment of Giovanni Solinas appalling, they will certainly find the return of Ernst Middendorp revolting.
The departure of "Mr KaizerShief in a big futobolo club in Sata Frika" sparked wild celebration by the black-and-gold congregation.
To use a biblical analogy, Chiefs fans felt like being freed from Egypt (read Solinas) when the club broke the news of the Italian's sacking on Twitter.
But ecstasy soon turned into agony when the selfsame Twitter account announced the replacement … the expected promised land of Israel turned out to be Syria (read Middendorp). Few think the return of the German means Kaizer Chiefs will have more bite, now that Mazinyo, Middendorp's monicker, is back.
They believe it is false hope, an assertion supported by the fact that the man has false teeth.
They see it as a new dawn, old political party kinda balderdash; the thriving communist in a capitalist environment kinda rubbish.
Chiefs chairman Kaizer Motaung confirmed that Solinas was not whom he wanted. The man was hired many months after the departure of Steve Komphela, one week before the commencement of the current 2018-19 campaign.
When Chiefs paraded the plumber in a poorly produced video on Facebook, it was like a premonition of how poor his reign was going to be.
He signed a two-year term. His tenure lasted five months. Five months punctuated with confusion for the players, delusion for the fans and an illusion on his part that he was onto something good with his futobolo at Kaizer Shief.
Losing to Orlando Pirates three times in one calendar year, chopping and changing of playing personnel in every game and behaving like a swengu (a brainless supporter) by bowing to Khama Billiat were indicators that the Italian was going to last at Chiefs shorter than a teabag in a cup.
Indeed, the height of Solinas's madness was comical and nonsensical, elevating Billiat above his colleagues. What message does that send to the rest of the group?
Losing to Zimamoto, a team with a name akin to Zulu Motho, that sweet my generation grew up eating, was the straw that broke the camel's back.
King Kaizer had to act. Act he did. But what of his action?
Substituting Solinas with Middendorp is jumping from the pan straight into the fire. Those in support of the return of the German point to his "successes" since leaving Chiefs. Well, if saving Maritzburg United and Free State Stars from relegation is success, then bravo.
If that is the standard for a Chiefs coach, then it is safe to say that if the club is not going to the dogs, it is in a sprint to meet the dogs halfway.
One of Middendorp's achievements was the dubious distinction of being part of Chiefs finishing outside of the top eight position for the first and only time in the history of the club.
Motaung said the coaches that Chiefs wanted were contracted elsewhere.
Middendorp was not. The columnist saw him closing the roof of his sleek, black German sedan outside Mike's Kitchen a few weeks ago.
Was he contracted to the half ribs and chicken meal at the eatery?
If Chiefs wanted to make a statement of intent, someone like Patrice Carteron would have been ideal.
The Frenchman delivered two league titles, three African Super Cup titles, and one Confederation of African Football Champions League for TP Mazembe between 2013 and 2016.
The man is free after leading Al Ahly to the final of the Champions League.
Was money the obstacle? You break the bank for best. Otherwise #HailtheCheapOption. #Heishere.
#FromAppallingToRevolting...

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