Lehlogonolo Machaba opens up about living an authentic life without fear as a transwoman in SA

When Lehlogonolo Machaba entered the Miss SA pageant in 2021 she immediately put the LGBTQI+ community in the spotlight as the first transwoman to enter the pageant. 

However, she never expected this would mean she would be the poster child for the community, an impact she does not take lightly.

She identifies as a spiritual, Christian black transwoman whose pronouns are she/her .

She told TshisaLIVE how she initially struggled with letting people know her true identity.

The model also shared how pageants were never on the cards for her. 

“I've never dreamt of becoming a beauty queen. I've always dreamt of becoming a model. I had this dream I was going to be the first trans to do something in my head. I thought it was going to be the first African trans model to major in big fashion brands. I was so obsessed with becoming a fashion model. There was a time where I was starving myself to make modelling measurements. My main focus at the time was becoming a fashion model and somehow destiny fulfilled itself by me being the first transwoman to enter Miss SA."

She said her plan was not to disclose her identity in the modelling industry until her journey to transitioning was done and out of fear of being typecast.

“In 2019, I was signed to a modelling agency but at that time I wasn't comfortable to disclose my trans identity to the modelling industry because I know what happens to trans models. They are usually typecast and I had a fear of getting specific jobs for trans models. When I joined the modelling space I didn't want that to happen to me. I told my agent to keep my gender marker as a male until I fully transitioned. Once I got my breakthrough it would be easier.”

She said her agent disclosed the confidential information to others when they had a fall out, and  while being “outed” initially sucked, she's since got used to her gender being a major aspect of how she identifies.

“It no longer bothers me because I've seen the impact I've had on people by telling my true story and it made me realise the power of authenticity. Somehow I know I'm playing a part in activism by just being myself, so it doesn't bother me like it did before. I'm grateful for the opportunity to be the first transwoman to do something because  it goes to show black African transwoman can also make it in the world. Nothing is beyond reach.”

Having the term “transwoman” closely associated with her name also made Lehlogonolo learn self-love anew.

"I feel like I didn't love myself enough because of how the media usually portrayed transwomen. We often see transwomen being discriminated against. As a black woman I wasn't aware I didn't love myself enough. I didn't want people to know my real self. I put on a façade, something  they would like. It didn't help at all. It broke me to the point were I had a mental breakdown because I was portraying a character instead of being my real self.”