Online courting site helps the lonely to click

Lonesome singles have a new online dating website where they can look for their perfect match. Avish Bhogal, 35, from Johannesburg, launched vivah.co.za to broaden people's options.

Bhogal, a sales manager, said the site - whose name is derived from the Hindi word for "marriage" - was inspired about four years ago by conversations with friends and family.

He said many people who were ready to get married had been struggling to hit it off with the potential partners to whom family and friends had introduced them.

"There is a bit of stigma attached to being introduced to someone by a relative or friend," he said.

"If you are introduced that way, there's always the pressure on you to make it work and it becomes a bit embarrassing at the point where the relationship does not go to the next level. Even the person that had made the introductions feels that they've wasted their time."

One Johannesburg professional who has signed up to the website agreed.

"Some people may lie about it, but the truth is that you've got a better chance of finding someone this way," said the man, 35, a field account manager who asked not to be named.

He said part of his reason for joining the site was that he did not have the time to search through the usual channels for the kind of person he hoped to meet.

"In Johannesburg you live a very fast-paced life," said the man, who moved to the city from Durban.

"I've tried the traditional things and nothing has worked so far. I know exactly what I want in a partner."

She ought to be down-to-earth and goal-orientated, he said.

"I'm looking for someone who would understand me and understand my life and with whom I'm compatible. I'm Hindu and I adhere to culture.

"When you fall in love, you can always compromise with certain things, but culture is very important to me. I think that's one of my core values."

Marriage counselling specialist Ritha Ramphal said the website was "very relevant to the needs of Indian South Africans in today's busy new world".

"Technological advances have revolutionised the world in every way, including people's personal lives," she said.

"When society was simpler and things moved more slowly, there was enough time for arranged marriages to take place. Young people today have less time to let things move at the leisurely pace of yesteryear.

"Fortunately, meetings between the sexes have become more frequent, more acceptable, and decisions about marriage are more in the hands of the young people concerned. Interaction in social situations and in the workplace have helped."

Ramphal said sites such as vivah boosted an individual's chances of meeting like-minded people.

But she cautioned that using the internet to find a life partner had its dangers.

People might misrepresent themselves and, if users were not vigilant, they could find themselves lured into the clutches of a person with bad intentions, said Ramphal.