Love at the lodge: this luxe Limpopo getaway is a guaranteed 'I do'

The date: March 10. The year: 2007. The TV show: Isidingo — The Need. The scene: A couple on a brown, leather couch in a 2.5-bedroom flat in Arcadia, Pretoria.

Bizarrely, it was during one of those epic duels between Cherel de Villiers (Michelle Botes) and Barker Haines (Robert Whitehead) that I was inspired to nonchalantly ask my then girlfriend, Mpho Malatjie, to marry me. Like an ill-prepared extra in an SABC3 soapie, I had no ring, no flowers, and no romantic dinner ready to be enjoyed during an extended advert.

Despite all this, she somehow found it in her heart to say yes. After a lengthy conversation that included what I found so sexy about Cherel’s red hair and Barker’s bald head that had driven me to ask for her hand in marriage, I redeemed myself by offering to propose to her every single year.

Out of desperation, I included the vow that I would get down on one knee and offer her a ring, every time. And, in keeping with the theme of surprises — as per “normal” proposals — I added that I would never propose on our anniversary, and would instead choose random dates to keep her heart pumping.

These all proved to be good moves as, after a few weeks, the gynaecologist detected two heartbeats, in addition to my fiancée’s, right as the Isidingo omnibus played out in her consulting room.

In 2021, we celebrated our 14th anniversary and the twins marked 13 years of constant heartbeats. By then, I had 13 years of surprise-proposal experience, having popped the question at various locations — from wine farms to rustic cottages. I’ve slipped the ring into drinks, and once even used the Burj Khalifa as a backdrop. 

When the family and I got the opportunity to visit the five-star Klaserie Drift Misava Camp Safari Lodge, it was a no-brainer that this was my chance for do-over number 14. Since they have not paid a single cent in rent in all these years, it was time to rope in our house’s fraternal squatters too.  

The boutique lodge is close to Hoedspruit in the Klaserie Private Nature Reserve in Limpopo, which forms part of the Greater Kruger National Park.

On the six-hour drive from Johannesburg, we dropped hints of a proposal, such as how romantic we thought the sundowners in the company of the big five would be. Alas, wifey was more interested in how fast the in-room Wi-Fi would be, and the open-air bar.

Upon arrival, we boys immediately went into stealth mode, scouting the premium amenities on a fact-finding mission for the picture-perfect setting. First we considered the communal reception area, which makes provision for family time thanks to DStv, board games and plenty of space to bond over drinks and snacks. This is also used to entertain young ones when the weather prevents outdoor activities.

I toyed with the idea of proposing in our river-facing villa’s outdoor shower, but then my wingmen pointed out that it should be a PG show.

The twins’ garden-facing room, connected to ours,  would also have been perfect. In fact, it felt extra romantic thanks to a lofty thatched roof and mood-setting wooden beams. But when I pointed out that this meant they would have to keep their quarters spotless for the entire duration of our two days there (housekeeping only serviced the rooms twice a day!), we agreed we should move on to the 60,000ha nature reserve.

The guided game drives were considered — leopards, lions, rhinos, elephants and buffaloes within proximity do get the missus all warm and fuzzy inside. But we eliminated the walking safari, as we figured it would be less romantic if an entire lineage was wiped out by a crazy crocodile. The astrophotography experience was out, as we needed her paying attention to the glimmer of a small star, here on planet Earth.

Eventually, we stopped acting like typical men — not asking for directions even though we knew we were lost — and looked to the experience of the 24-strong team at the lodge. They were unanimous: the infinity pool, in the middle of the bush. One snag: unlike my private-school offspring and Woolies wife, I am a child of the township and I never learnt to swim.

After our on-hand butler pointed out the deep end of the pool, I inspected the shallow end, ensuring that the ring and its case would float and not end up at the bottom. Now for the peripheral effects, known as the optics.

The day in question started with chef Njabuliso Mholi preparing a scrumptious lunch for us, including tender chicken lollipops and flavourful beef kebabs with a tangy salsa, all complemented by an airy carrot cake, fit for the occasion.

After letting the food settle, it was the moment we had been training for, and while wifey was going on about the lodge’s impressive wine list, Sihle (the firstborn, by two minutes), performed the most spectacular cannon ball into the deep end, while Mpumi ensured the ring floated towards his landlady. I pressed play on my phone, serenading my annual bride-to-be with Micasa’s Mamela.

Expansive views of the river, the lush bush as far as one can see, and the most romantic plunge pool in the area. What could go wrong? Nothing.

Well, except that earlier in the day, while setting up the pool umbrellas, I had idiotically said something about a frog being stuck inside one of the umbrellas, and that it could jump out at any time. Of course, as soon as the ring case gently touched the missus, she was terrified, thinking she was being attacked by a croaker.

Story of my love live. 

GETAWAY AT A GLANCE

WHERE IT IS: In the big-five Klaserie Private Nature Reserve, adjacent to the Kruger Park, in Limpopo. It has an area of about 60,000ha and the Klaserie River runs through the park.

ACCOMMODATION: There are four garden suites and two with views of the Klaserie River. Each suite accommodates two people (River suites can host up to two extra child beds/cots). The family suite is made up of two interconnected suites. All have a  private terrace and free Wi-Fi. 

WHAT ELSE IT HAS: A mobile spa, swimming pool and viewing deck, lounge with DStv and library, and an open-air bar, boma and dining area.

ACTIVITIES: Twice daily game drives, game walks on request. Specialist packages include photography, birding, yoga and wellness.

RATES: Garden-view suites are priced from R8,000 per person per night sharing; river-view suites from R10,250. Rates include all meals and snacks, two game drives per day, tea, coffee, soft drinks and select wines, beers and spirits. Children under 12 sharing with adults pay R4,000. The entire camp is available for exclusive use, for up to 12 people, at R104,500 per night.

MORE INFORMATION: See klaseriedrift.co.za or email info@klaseriedrift.co.za.