A funny thing happened after the RWC: 'caveman' Craig Jackson's travel tales

The things I remember most about my childhood holidays are an accumulation of sand in my Speedo from being dumped by the shore breakers, 5c chappies, Mellow Yellow and the glorious smell of sunscreen.

My first trip abroad was to the UK. I was 14, that age when cool music was everything. I remember going to HMV and Virgin records and buying single songs on tape in a cardboard covering.

I have a country crush and it's Iceland, my best holiday ever. I warn you, though, it’s pricey. Iceland is a big volcanic island and such an interesting and beautiful country. I felt I was on another planet. I highly recommend going to the Blue Lagoon, Gullfoss Falls and Geysir. Icelandic horses have five gaits called “ort”, as opposed to other horses around the world.

Malta is also a great country to visit. It's steeped in history and has very interesting architecture. I highly recommend taking the sightseeing tour buses to take in everything Malta has to offer.

My most epic solo trip was to Malta. I travelled there for a shoot and stayed for two weeks. I only shot for two days so the rest of the time I was all alone. I loved it. A word of advice: make a plan every day to do something different, especially in a small country such as Malta where there is only so much you can do. I went to Valletta, Mdina and St Julian's. My must-sees are the old city, Mdina; the new city, Valletta; and take the St John’s Cathedral tour. It is breathtaking. Last, go to the Mdina glass factory where you'll find beautiful gifts, Christmas decorations, ashtrays and so on

A funny travel story I have is about travelling from France to the UK in 2007. We had just won the Rugby World Cup, I had been celebrating all night and was sleeping on the back seat of my friend's car. At the border in Calais, they spotted a problem with my visa. They called my name, I appeared from the back seat and threw up my arms as if to say, “I dunno?” After five minutes of two officials talking French, they decided to let me proceed. I’ve always thought they decided to make this hung over South African the UK’s problem. It worked out in the end and I sorted out the slight issue with my passport.

Bordeaux and Saint-Sébastien in France are my favourite cities. We lived and stayed like the locals and you get into the pulse of what makes a city tick. I'd love to go barging in France for a week, waking up every morning, getting on my bicycle, travelling around and taking in all the beautiful small villages. Buying baguettes, cheese and wine and riding back to my barge and enjoying a beautiful sunset with family and friends.

My worst travel experience was when I was a tour guide in my youth. I took a lot of Australians and Kiwis to Spain for the running of the bulls. My bus’ cambelt snapped on the way there and I was stranded on the side of the highway with irate tourists and a blocked bus toilet, which I had to attempt to unblock. 

My ultimate bucket-list destination is Vietnam. I have heard from friends how beautiful it is. Also, it’s nice to go to a country where the rand goes much further and I love beautiful islands, beaches and the sea.

I’m not proud of this, but the weirdest things I've eaten on my travels were in Iceland and I had to try them: puffin, whale and foal. They were delicious. Sorry. When travelling, I am a sucker for trying that country's cuisine.

If I could go anywhere in the world for a night out I would go to a pub in Ireland. Friendly people and they know how to party. Guinness and all.

The one thing I always make sure I do on holiday is find places not full of tourists. I love finding little gems wherever I go.

Lots of countries have friendly locals. In Mauritius, everyone is hospitable and friendly. I found the people in Spain cool and friendly. Also my fellow Africans. Lesotho and Mozambique.

I collect souvenirs when I travel: Christmas balls to hang on my Christmas tree.

My perfect holiday involves wine, family, friends, good food and beautiful places steeped in history.

When I meet South African travellers overseas, I think we’re really welcoming and friendly people. South Africans just get each other and connect immediately.

• Catch Jackson in Defending the Caveman at Theatre on the Square in Sandton, on now until December 2. Book tickets here.