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Simz Ngema on Dumi's death: 'I felt like I was literally stripped naked, emotionally'

07 August 2018 - 14:01 By Kyle Zeeman
Sim Ngema has opened up about the pain of losing her husband and mourning in the public eye.
Sim Ngema has opened up about the pain of losing her husband and mourning in the public eye.
Image: Via Simz Ngema's Instagram

A heartbroken Simphiwe "Simz" Ngema was left feeling vulnerable and "stripped naked" for the whole country to see after the death of her husband, Dumi Masilela a year ago.

As those close to the Rhythm City actor remembered him on the first anniversary of his death last week, his widow told Afternoon Express she has had to mourn with the whole nation watching.

"I have lived this journey with everybody watching. I felt like I was literally stripped naked, emotionally, in front of the whole country. For me, I just had to live my truth and that is how I am healing."

Simz said she has been healing by learning to understand that she had to embrace the grief she was feeling, and also threw herself back into acting.  

"Acting saved my life. I was at a point where I felt like, 'what do I live for?' It reminded me of what I am passionate about. It reminded me that the one thing I am passionate about gave me a reason to live... my passion saved my life."

Simz revealed that she wrote a lot of her emotions and thoughts down during the mourning period and could one day release a book about her journey.

The actress recently was thinking of taking off her wedding ring as she picked up the pieces of her life after Dumi's death. 

"We have a love-hate relationship, sometimes I look at you and I smile. Sometimes I look at you and my heart bleeds. It’s almost time to let you go and the thought of living without you makes me anxious but holding on to you is more painful.

"I promise to keep you safe and to one day give you to the woman who will be Kgosi’s heartkeeper. I will love you, forever and always." 

One of Dumi's best friends, Thato Mabaso told TshisaLIVE that those close to the actor were devastated by his death and were still struggling to cope.

"None of us have really come to terms with it. We are all trying. But his spirit never died. It carried on inside us all."