The Short Report

Mngxitama's firework burns bright as Gordhan finds his voice

04 August 2017 - 13:37
Pravin Gordhan. File photo.
Pravin Gordhan. File photo.
Image: Siphiwe Sibeko/Reuters

When Pravin Gordhan spoke to the Daily Maverick Gathering in Cape Town on Thursday‚ there was very bad news and very good news.

The very bad news was that‚ according to Gordhan‚ about R100-billion has been siphoned out of the fiscus to pay the Guptas and their various puppets in government.

If state capture has been trundling along for about 10 years‚ it means the Zupta ANC has been stealing from South Africa at a rate of R1-million every hour.

The very good news is that Gordhan seems to have overcome a debilitating blockage in his throat. Given that he was finance minister for just over six of the last 10 years‚ it’s fair to suggest that he was in charge of the fiscus while about R60-billion disappeared from it.

The media tells me that Gordhan is a good bloke‚ so the only reason I can think of why he didn’t speak out regularly‚ telling Parliament and the press that the ANC was looting the country at a rate of R16 000 a minute‚ was that he had something stuck in his windpipe‚ like a peach pip. I’m delighted that it has now come loose and he is feeling much more comfortable.

Theft on the scale that we’re seeing needs a good plan and obedient accomplices. But it also needs a good distraction.

Enter Andile Mngxitama‚ driving Brian Molefe’s red Audi and babbling expletives at journalists.

The arrival of Che Gupta and his tiny band of paid-for stooges was choreographed to look like a radical‚ spontaneous invasion of the Daily Maverick Gathering. But of course it wasn’t.

And‚ of course‚ the media fell for it‚ head over heels. Within the hour‚ he was all over Twitter and mainstream news sites‚ which was exactly what his employers in Dubai wanted.

Mngxitama is not an activist or a political force. He is a firework. He soars into the sky‚ explodes‚ and we all look up and gasp.

Ooh! So angry! Such rude words! And as the sound and fury fill our eyes and ears‚ the thieves in the darkness frantically stuff our money into suitcases. R1-million every hour.

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