Is SA nothing but a terrible place, run by terrible people?
We believe everything will be fine once we send a few crooks to jail. But will it?
There's no funny way to say this, so I'm just going to say it.
The CEO of SAA has been paid R600-million to leave his post.
That's 20 times the amount Brian Molefe was going to be paid for "saving" us from load-shedding, or two Nkandlas with R100-million in change.
I am, of course, not talking about the current CEO, Vuyani Jarana, who is still very much at his post, overseeing a team of men shovelling piles of our tax rands into the spinning turbines of a parked Airbus.
No, the guy I'm talking about left in 2001. His name was Coleman Andrews and he was paid R230-million on his way out the door, about R600-million in today's money.
Did you feel that? Your blood pressure easing as you realised I was talking about something that happened ages ago? Perhaps even a twinge of annoyance that I was bringing up ancient history when there's so much corruption happening right now?
Those feelings are how we cope.
We relegate old scandals to the past and brace for new ones, like castaways on a raft cresting one wave and bracing for the next.
That reaction, however, also reveals the depth of our collective denial.
If you believe each scandal is a singular event, a crisis to overcome so that you can return to some sort of pre-existing calm, then you believe every wave in the ocean is an anomaly. But, of course, the ocean is made of moving water. And South Africa is made of corruption.
We pretend it isn't. Every day we tell ourselves this or that example of thievery or violence is an anomaly in an otherwise law-abiding country. Every day we tell ourselves that beyond the next wave there is flat water.
That delusion is essential to our survival. If you allow yourself to see your position - nowhere, on a raft, facing an infinite number of waves - it's easy to despair. We have to believe the ocean will end; that everything will be fine once we send a few crooks to jail.
Perhaps it is time to consider this is a terrible place, being run, as it always has been, by terrible people.
And yet when has South Africa ever been fine? When, in the past three centuries, has it not been a Gordian knot of exploitation, misery and unabashed criminality? Murder drew the country's borders and mapped out its regional fiefdoms. Slaves established its farms.
People stripped of their dignity and property dug its mines and built its towns and cities. And in those towns and cities exploitation was rebranded as enterprise, a lie sold so well that even the exploiters started believing they had built it all by themselves by working hard.
And yet, even now, we resist acknowledging this existential corruption continues. We agree the Sharpeville massacre was carried out by a monstrous system, but the murder of miners at Marikana, well, that was an anomaly. We dare not admit fully to ourselves that violence and trauma and profound corruption comprise the very DNA of this country. And so we forget.
Take Coleman Andrews. If you're like me, you'd probably filed him away, the way we've filed away slavery and colonialism and the Land Act and apartheid and even some early ANC scandals, packing them into the box labelled "The Vague Past, To Be Discussed Later Once This Is All Sorted Out".
Because that's what total corruption trains us to do. No collective memory, no collective consequences. Just brace for the next wave and continue to believe the waves will end.
So what do we do? I think the first step is to discard the self-soothing belief that this is a good place being ruined by bad people. Instead, perhaps it is time to consider this is a terrible place, being run, as it always has been, by terrible people; that the country we pretend to live in doesn't exist.
At least, not yet. It could, but it will be hard, because we will have to do it all ourselves; deciding who gets what land and what economic justice looks like and who has to foot the bill.
In the end, however, it is the only hope we have. The alternative is a tiny raft on an ocean of waves.
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