35 titillating stats about South Africans' sex lives

In October this year, Sunday Times Lifestyle conducted a sex survey in association with local research house Ratepop, using their proprietary chatbot technology. This chatbot is a computer program, designed to simulate conversation with human users, and is hosted on Facebook Messenger.  

As part of the survey, more than 2,000 ordinary South Africans with internet access answered a number of questions about their sex lives. 

The respondents' identities were kept strictly confidential, but they were segmented into the following demographics: age, sexual orientation, race, location, relationship status and gender.

This methodology allowed Ratepop to aggregate the overall results and analyse the data according to these demographic segments. 

Here are the results:

WHO'S HAVING THE MOST SEX?

• South Africans aged 41 to 50 have more sex than any other age group.
• Heterosexuals have sex more often than homosexuals.
• Black South Africans have the highest sex drive, followed by whites, coloureds and lastly the Indian/Asian community.
• People in the Western Cape have the most sex, followed by KwaZulu-Natal and Gauteng.
• Married couples have twice as much sex as singles.
• Men claim to have sex more often than women.
• 62.9% of South Africans said connecting with their partner was the main reason they had sex.

HOW SATISFIED ARE WE WITH OUR SEX LIVES?

• Couples in a relationship enjoyed sex the most; they gave their sex lives an average score of 7 out of 10.
• Married couples ranked their sex lives 6.2 out of 10.
• Singles seem to be sexually unhappy with a low average score of 5.4, which is below the national average of 6.4.
• 54.1% of women said they were most likely to orgasm while having sex with their partner, while 41.1% were more likely to climax while masturbating. 4.7% of women say they've never had an orgasm.

HOW IMPORTANT IS PENIS SIZE?

• 47.5% of women felt that it's not the size of the penis that counts, but how you use it. 40.4% of men agree.
• That said, 30.8% of black women and 19.9% of white women believe that, yes, size is very important. Only 24.3% of men agree.

WHAT DO WE THINK ABOUT DURING SEX?

• 71.8% of men and 57.2% of women think about their partners during sex.
• Of the 43% of women who don't think about their partners: 13.2% think about themselves; 1.1% think about their ex-partners; 20.1% think about nothing; 5.3% think about someone else; and 2.9% think about the ceiling.

HOW CLUED UP ARE WE ABOUT USING CONDOMS?

• 16.9% of singles aged 18 to 24 have had sex without a condom because they were drunk, and 20% of them because there were no condoms around.

HERE'S HOW WE DEFINE A SEX DROUGHT:

• 58.1% of men consider not having sex for more than a week a drought, compared to 39.4% of women.
• Masturbation is how 56.2% of people 'survive' a sex drought.
• Not having sex is a relationship deal breaker for 54.3% of men, whereas 52.8% of women feel that an emotional connection is more important than sex.

SPEAKING OF MASTURBATION AND PORN ... 

• 25.2% of men and 9.8% of women masturbate daily.
• 43% of people admitted to really liking porn, while 29.1% said they enjoyed it, but were ashamed to admit it.

SEX TOYS: YAE OR NAY?

• 74.8% of heterosexual black women and 43.3% of heterosexual white women do not use sex toys.
• The majority of women who do use sex toys named vibrators as being their toy of choice.
• Only 18.1% of people chose the sex toy option when asked what they'd like to add to their sex lives. The majority would like to add more time or more orgasms.

AND BDSM?

• It seems that women are more open-minded than men when it comes to BDSM. 51.5% of men said they wouldn't try it compared to 40.6% of women.

WHAT ABOUT ANAL SEX?

• 66.8% of heterosexual women and 41.9% of heterosexual men said 'no thanks' to the idea of anal sex. Black women were the most conservative group in this regard with 72.% saying they wouldn't try it.
• Around a third of all heterosexual men (31.7%) are game but their partners are not.
• Some heterosexual South Africans (13.9%) said they enjoy anal sex only on special occasions. 

HOW DO WE FEEL ABOUT MONOGAMY?

• 65.6% of South Africans believe that sex should be monogamous. Women feel more strongly on the subject with 73.3% saying 'yes, it should be monogamous' compared to 59.5% of men.
• 46.6% of people have cheated on their partner once and consider it to have been a mistake.

HOW OPEN ARE WE TO INTERRACIAL SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS?

• More than half of all South Africans (58.2%) have not had sex with someone of a different race. Of these, 37.9% said that they would try it, while 20.3% were not open to the idea. 
• 41.6% have had an interracial sexual relationship. Of these, 14.2% admitted to doing so out of curiosity, while 27.4% don't have a type or preference when it comes to skin colour. 
• The Indian/Asian community seems to be the most open to the idea. 56% don’t have a preference and only 7.5% would not have sex with someone of a different race.
• 31.1% of whites - the highest percentage - and 13.8% of blacks are not interested in having sex with someone of a different race.

DO WE PAY FOR SEX?

• 82.8% of South Africans have never paid for sex. Although some men (16.8%) have admitted to doing so when they're 'desperate'.