'She told me she's not a good mother': Graham Dickason on wife's depression

18 July 2023 - 08:15 By TimesLIVE
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Twin girls, two-year-olds Karla and Maya, and their six-year-old sister Liane, formerly of Pretoria, were found dead in a New Zealand town.
Twin girls, two-year-olds Karla and Maya, and their six-year-old sister Liane, formerly of Pretoria, were found dead in a New Zealand town.
Image: Sourced: Facebook/Lauren Dickason

Orthopaedic surgeon Graham Dickason, who found his three daughters murdered in their beds, has told a New Zealand court his wife Lauren had struggled with her mental health in the 15 years they were together.

This worsened after she underwent multiple rounds of fertility treatment to have children, with Lauren requiring medication and psychiatric interventions, according to New Zealand media reports.

Testifying remotely from South Africa via a video link to the court in Christchurch, where Lauren is charged with the murder of Liané, 6, and two-year-old twins Maya and Karla in 2021, Dickason said she had also been affected by the stresses of emigration, selling their home and isolation during periods of the Covid-19 lockdown.

“She verbalised on multiple occasions that she doesn’t seem to think she’s a good mother. And I’ve always reassured her. Maybe that was a mistake,” the New Zealand Herald reported.

“She was not one that would like to pick them up or just be with them or cuddle. She’s very good in organisation, her organisational skills are exceptional, but she could never just enjoy them,” he told the court.

“I always hoped that it could improve and I think I just tried to compensate for it. But it was never anything that I worried about in terms of being harmful to the kids.”

His wife, who had previously worked as a doctor with a practice in Pretoria, had cried a lot in the weeks before the murders. She had become very introverted and withdrawn, but he had hoped she would settle into their new life in New Zealand, making friends with other parents at the children's schools, after a period of adjustment. He was busy preparing to begin his new job at the local hospital, and was not able to spend much time with her.

The warning signs were there, however.

She had told her husband on three occasions she had thoughts of harming the children, beginning in 2019. She was prescribed medication during treatment with a psychiatrist and Dickason said he did not believe she would ever act on it. “Lauren was not a violent person,” he explained.

The court heard on Monday that Lauren had initially tried to strangle the children with cable ties, telling them they were making necklaces, before smothering them with their own blankets, in the Timaru house.

Stuff.co.nz reported Dickason testified he had returned to South Africa after the murders and moved into the same room at his mother's house where the family had stayed in the lead-up to emigrating.

In the room, he found some of their belongings they didn’t take with them in a wardrobe — including cable ties that were strung together.

When he went to visit Lauren at the New Zealand mental health facility where she is incarcerated in January 2022, he said she confirmed she had strung the cable ties together, but didn’t say why. 

At a memorial service for the children soon after their deaths, TimesLIVE reported that Dickason had asked mourners to “pray for my lovely Lauren, as I honestly believe she is a victim of this tragedy as well”.

In a poignant message, he said: “I have already forgiven her and I urge you, at your own time, to do the same.”

The trial continues.

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